Yes, to creating moments.

Yes....I said it.

I said yes to an adventure at the beginning of 2019. Then I remembered how ironic, that my word for the year 2019 is CREATE.
To create the unexpected moments. To create and unfold things inside of me that I don't even know are there unless I analyze more of how He created me. To create memories, and intimacy with My Father in heaven. To create a new chapter of my story, a story that isn't written just by me but is directed by The Lord.
So when I got asked a few BOLD things at the beginning of January, ALREADY, I knew this year was going to be a treat for my soul.
Unexpected moments that my soul has been longing for, once I put my big girl boots on.

I realize some people reading this may say "well yeah, but thats YOUR life," or "yeah cool, good for YOU," or "awesome, can't wait to hear about it but still waiting for The Lord to move in MY life."

I realize these are all real feelings, yet if you feel that way, please don't continue to read my blog. You have control over your emotions and where your mind takes you. I believe when The Lord does something in someone's life, it's not just for their own self, but for the purpose of so many others.

{ We are made to do life in community, with people. }

That is why I share. To spread the good news of what God is doing, in hopes that you give glory to Him and receive something from this for your own life to hold tight to.

If comparison is a road you catch yourself turning to, please don't read on because my heart isn't to allow others to stumble. So I warn you right now.... this is a GOOD story, about the GOODNESS OF GOD.
I have had my fair share of crappy things happen, and those are written in other blogs from my past.

I pray for you, whoever you are, that your heart is right while reading and that you can receive what I say with open arms and a heart to love/champion me WHERE I AM. This is MY STORY the Lord is writing, and I'm asking you to be apart of it, if you want.

Not to compare, ctitize or now look at your life and regret something.
Everyone is on a different journey, and this just happens to be mine.

Some of my journey I wish I could erase. Take away. Never remember the moments again. But if I did that, I wouldn't be who I am. I wouldn't have the stories of how God so beautifully is STILL writing my story.


So any-who, back to what the purpose of this blog is. To share my story. A story that was unexpected and has created in me a heart to sing, to sing a new song and to expect the wild, wonder and passion.

Ephesians 3: 20-21

" Never doubt God's mighty power to work in you and accomplish all this. He will achieve infinity more than your greatest request, your most unbelievable dream, and exceed your wildest imagination! He will outdo them all, for his miraculous power constantly energizes you. 

Now we offer up to God all the glorious praise that rises from every church in ever generation through Jesus Christ- and all that will yet be manifest through time and eternity. AMEN! "

I got a text coming home from a road trip around Christmas time. The text read something like this.....".....want to go to Cambodia in a couple weeks?"
Okay there were WAY more words than this, but this was the part of the text that stood out to me, and shocked me.
My first reaction was, absolutely not. I have responsibilities to do here in San Diego, a life I am living. I cant just pick up and go out of the blue.....or can I?
Especially after taking a week off for Christmas.

With lots of encouragement from my husband (cause if you know him, that is just who he is. A champion of people, especially me), and aligning all my ducks in a row before I said yes, I SAID YES. WHY NOT.
Cambodia has a huge part of my heart, what do I have to loose? I have so much to gain and this is a year of stepping out, with wisdom and humility, and saying YES to creating the adventure with my Father in Heaven.
So I said yes.

Instantly I wondered why.
I wondered what was it that The Lord was going to do in and through me on this trip. I was expectant and ready because from my past history with God, nothing is coincidence.

If you don't know .....I love meeting new people, stepping out of my comfort zone and just being myself despite everything that would tell me to be fearful. I like to kick fear in the butt. So I knew I wouldn't have trouble meeting the team and getting to know them, and I KNEW God had a plan for organizing the team the way He did. That is just SO HIM, to hand pick everyone who is going for a specific reason.
So here I am. Bags packed. Heart Full. Notebook empty. Ready to receive and give all I have for two weeks while we venture to Cambodia.

FAST FORWARD 3-4 days after we arrive in Cambodia.
Cause lets be honest, I could probably write a whole book about my adventures in Cambodia and ALL THE THINGS. Just ALL THE THINGS that He does in my heart, shows me, and convicts me about.
But this specific moment is why I feel like I was meant to go, FOR ME. A moment that before the trip, He told my heart, "Yes go, go be adventurous and silly, but most of all....I want you to SOAK UP ALL THE MOMENTS."
So the moment was here.
This is one of the MAIN MOMENTS I will always carry in my heart from Cambodia 2019.
THIS GIRL.

Her name is "Maneat"

"Mon-ey" is how you pronounce it in English. I think. Words are tricky in Cambodia because we don't speak their language. But as we know, LOVE transcends words. 

She gave me moments, that I will cherish forever.

Moments that I did not think I would have right now, because I have no kids that are here on earth. They are all in heaven.

But this sweet girl, allowed me to have a moment with her of healing my heart.

A moment I would of missed if I hurried about my day.

A moment I believe the Lord carved out for me, because He knows exactly what I need. 

I picked her up one morning, and as I was speaking words of affirmation over this beautiful girl in her ear, tears began to stream down my face, tears of mourning.

Right then, I realized The Lord saw my broken heart and gave me a moment to heal a place I moved away from. Gave me a moment that said "I see you Sarah Marie, this promise will come for your life one day to hold your child. Continue to walk with me. I see you."

"The Lord is close to the broken hearted, and saves those who are crushed in spirit." Proverbs 34:18

Yes. I believe this to the core of me. 

I also believe we have a choice to choose if we see God in the midst of our pain. Right now, I choose to see His love and His light in my life. 

I choose to look for the moments that take my breath away, and draw me closer to His heart.

I KNOW, that I won't ever understand all the pain in the world. 

But I do know, who God is. I know because I read about Him all the time in the Bible. 

My prayer is that I am never easily swayed about God by someone's opinion or a smart person who feels like they know it all. I want to be a woman who falls on her knees in awe of my Father, despite the pain in my heart, knowing He is always next to me. Just like my earthly father would of done if he was still here to comfort me. 

May you be encouraged, that The Lord is close to you.

"Draw near to Him, and He will draw near to you." James 4:8

I challenge you to never stop reading the word of God, it is the truth that we need to stand on in a world that is broken. May you find hope. 

xoxo

Sarah Marie 

cause sometimes life can suck.

Even the title of my blog makes me cringe, because I know life is absolutely breathtakingly beautiful. God created it, and everything He created He made with intimacy, detail and divine attention.
That is the God I love and serve.
That is the God I believe in, and the God that I want to be like each and every morning when I open my eyes. He puts so much thought, time, patience and love into everything He does. He crafts everything with such majestical divinity that we will never comprehend it.

So when I say something so "humanly and simple" and say that life can suck sometimes. I mean it, because I am human and my mind can't comprehend why God does what He does or doesn't do something that I know He is capable of. But I say it because its how I feel.
I know feelings are not always real and true, but they are there and I need to feel them. I am a deep feeler, and a very sensitive person that I have come to grasp as a gift, not as a negative in my life. I sort of knew that about myself, until I got married and than really realized how much of an external feeler I am. My husband is also the most loving person that God could've given me to help walk with me in that.

Back to the world, and why it can suck sometimes.
It doesn't make sense to me that there is an abundance of hurt, sorrow, pain and so much death in the world.
Trust me, I know the "spiritual" answer to why these things happen to people. We live in a fallen world and we walk through trials and tribulations daily.
But it can happen to such good people more often than not. So I just don't understand it, nor do I try to.
I am never the judge, never want to be of people and their stories,  and why they do the things they do.
I also don't believe that My God punishes people with hurt for something they did. I don't believe we do good works and we find more favor.
I believe my God does not choose favorites. I believe in forgiveness. I believe in a relationship with Jesus that you must remain in, otherwise it can be easy to fall out and fall into such world thoughts and mindsets.

My heart has been broken into so many tiny pieces because of the fallen world we live in. A world I don't understand and never will.
A world I so desperately want to get out of, because I want to live a life with my God, my biological dad, my child and so many others who I know are in Heaven living the good life.
But I also know I am here for a reason. I have walked through unimaginable pain and sorrow that still stings my heart when I dwell for too long. I know there are times that if I just open my mouth and speak it out, I can heal and also help others heal. But than sometimes I struggle to find words to even say without crying.

That is also something I don't understand. Why does crying hurt so much, but bring so much healing to my heart. Vulnerability is something I believe I have been pretty good at my whole life, because I am an external processor and deep feeler. To help my mind heal and find satisfaction in what is going on, I must talk it out and find meaning behind things. I feel deeply, I think deeply and I cry a lot.
Its just apart of who I am.
So when I walk through hard things... I usually cry a lot, talk a lot and talk to God all the time. Have you ever just talked to God?

When I started going back to church in 2010 with my family, I sat by this sweet loving, beautiful girl. Who told me that talking to God was like talking to my best friend. That was the most simple analogy I could've got from her, that totally, completely changed the way I pictured praying. I thought it had to be over spiritual, sound articulate and also don't show all my emotion because it would be weird in front of other people.
NO, not at all. Talking to God, especially when I am praying with a group of people, should be intimate, venerable and you. It can be simple, beautiful and not profound. God knows your heart, He knows the depth of your being. When you pray and talk to Him about what is going on in your life, it shows dependency on Him.
It shows Him that you need Him, that you want to be in communication with Him.
It brings healing to my soul to know He cares, and He cares about the things about me that I feel like most people don't care about.

So here we are, in the beginning of October, and I am in that funk where I feel like life sucks right now. I am struggling to even journal to God my inner thoughts and feelings because I get distracted and find something "better" that I want to be doing. I feel like I don't know what to say to God because I am trying to figure out how I even feel right now.
I want my heart to be all in with Him all the time.
But somedays I don't feel that way.
Remember what I said earlier, our feelings sometimes are not real. They are just feelings, not facts.
I know God loves me, and I know I love God with my whole being. My actions don't always follow that but I know that in the depth of my being.
So I decided to blog about what my heart is going through, so I can find peace and assurance that I am not crazy at this moment. Im going to sit and eat dark chocolate acai bites that are delicious, and I always get tummy aches after eating them.

The beginning of this 2017 year was tough. More than I can put into words, it was absolutely traumatic. To the point of me crying everyday for months and not wanting to get out of bed because my soul hurt to the point of exhaustion.
Im not going to go into super detail, but just let me tell you, my soul still hurts when I bring myself back to that place.
Something I longed for since I was a child, was taken for me and there was absolutely no reason why. Poof it as gone.
I was pregnant for 10 weeks, and than all of a sudden...my baby was gone.
Life was taken from my womb without the politeness or audacity of asking if I had a say in it. I went from the utmost joy and excitement with tears, to utter depression and my gut wrenching hurt even when I would think about what happened to my baby.
My baby was gone.
I carried my baby for such a short time, but a time that I was able to gain a relationship with my baby inside of me, and all of a sudden my baby was gone.
I went through the pains of birth in the hospital for hours, literally hours.
With no joy to follow.
I came back from a DNC, saw my husband, and just wept until I couldn't move my body anymore. I felt empty inside and hurt. I seriously told God that He hurt me. This was something He could've stopped, but He didn't. I will never know why until I go to heaven someday and meet my baby and ask my God.
My heart sometimes cries to the point of hurting because the pain is unbearable. I know we were not meant to carry pain like that.
My eyes cry so much, that I can't see a darn thing. I can't feel anything except sadness.
There is nothing anyone can say that makes me feel better.
Hugs help.
Prayer helps.
But thats all.
People said they understood, but did they really?

every situation is so different and so unique to that person that nobody knows what I was personally walking through except my God.

This was something I needed to walk through with God, and with my loving husband.
I needed to trust God again with my deepest desires to be a mama again. I needed to share my pain and my feeling with Him, so that He knew how sad I was at Him.
I needed God to understand my pain,
I needed Him to tell me it was okay and that He would literally carry me the next few months because I couldn't get up.
I would never want to compare my story to anyone else, because each and every story is so different. Especially miscarriages.
I can't describe my pain and the surreal feeling I felt when my baby was not in my womb anymore. It was only something God knew about, I couldn't even form words to tell my husband how painful it was. He was dealing with it in his own way, with God as well.

This is where I tell him that life sucks sometimes. This is where we crawl on our knees, hugging and praying together that life will get better. That God hears our prayers to start our own legacy and family, and we trust.

All we can do is trust.
We have absolutely n control over what can happen. But God does.
So although life sucks, I still love my God.
I pray long and deep sometimes, because I know the intimacy of my relationship with God. I know He hears me.
I know my earthy Father is in heaven with my baby. I know they will see me when I come to heaven.

But for now, I cry. I pray. I wait. I cry. I pray. I wait.
Please be gentle and compassionate when you ask married couples when they are gong to have a baby.
Its a subject that is sensitive to the soul.
Please be patient when couples want to wait. When couples don't want to talk about it.
When couples don't have an answer for you.
We don't know what other people are walking through, so try to be slow to speak, compassionate, kind and humble.
Love with your whole self.
Trust God because the world sucks sometimes.

And try to remember that life can suck, but life can also be so beautiful when you are looking at it with the lens of Jesus. Thats my prayer, that I can still see the beauty.

xoxo.
Sarah Marie





ps- He is in the waiting. I believe that my season will come.

nails have been painted again, she's happy.

{ Yes, that is a true statement. 
My nails have been painted again, and she is happy. 
She means me..... okay people. }

I can truly, genuinely say that I am so happy. Sometimes life catches me by surprise and I stop and say a prayer to my Jesus about how thankful I am.
It takes my breath away when I think of how good my God is.
compared to where my life was 6 years ago,

Seriously my soul is happy.

One of my tattoos says " Blessed by His faithful love."
I look at that tattoo occasionally and really can't believe how true that actually is. Everyday I am blown away by God's faithful love and how much He specifically loves ME.
I have gone through terrible tragedy, immense heart break, depression, eating disorders and more, but also a life full of JOY to the greatest extent.
Through it all, God's love has been faithful.
He is always faithful, but I was not always seeing it.

My husband and I recently shared our testimonies at our youth group and I started mine by saying "Through all of these stories, I want you to see the goodness of God. His glory and His faithfulness through it all because it was there, even when I didn't see it at the time."
I shared deep, dark parts of my past.
I shared joyful times of my present.
I shared dreams of my future.
All in all, I shared how God has been faithful to love me and take care of me.

Just like He does SPECIFICALLY FOR YOU.
He longs to spend time with us, to be with us. But the choice is up to us, not up to Him. He let us decide whether we need Him in our lives or not, and let me tell you it is so much more ABUNDANT and fulfilling to have Him be apart of your life everyday, every waking moment.

I have just been in awe of my God. His beauty,
His timing,
His uniqueness and
His intimacy with me.
I can't describe it, it is so wonderful.
But one thing I wanted to share is that everyone can have it!
"Seek first the Kingdom of God...."
Most people who have been in church have heard this scripture before.
But seriously, SEEK HIS KINGDOM FIRST and all else will be added to you.
Ask Him where to go. Ask Him what you can do to live out your potential.
Let me tell you how I am learning that......

----> recently we moved. AGAIN. yes again.
We now live in the most lovely, relaxing place; San Diego California.
Yes lovely, because of the people, the beach, the vibe, the sunshine and the food.
I seriously look at my husband and say " HOW IS THIS OUR LIFE."
It is what I have always dreamed about!

But GOD PUT US HERE. I wasn't ready to move from Fullerton, CA to San Diego. We have moved 5 times in the last year, and I was loving the people and the church that we were apart of in Fullerton.
But after MUCH FASTING and MUCH PRAYER and SO MUCH PEACE and UNITY in both of our hearts, we moved to San Diego.

And can I tell you, God has truly given us desires of our hearts.
We have been building community.
We are now in charge of a beautifully crafted Youth Group.
We have a home, to call a home.
We have mentors, friends and family.
We have a deep, connection with one another.
We laugh a lot.
I paint my nails, often.
We drive with the windows down.
We seek Jesus everyday.
And to think I didn't think we were supposed to move?
Look how God knew everything ahead of time. All I needed to do was OBEY.

Today I read a post from the sweetness of girl and her beautiful heart about seeking Jesus and His presence EVERY MORNING.
(Thank you Faith Benton)
It was exactly how I felt. If I don't seek God and His kingdom every morning, my whole day is thrown off. If I don't have eternity in mind, and ask God to use me everyday....my mind is thrown off.
Ever since my husband and I have been married, we want to live and love like Jesus.
However that looks like.
Well,
He moved us to San Diego to live with and love on this community.
When you are walking in God's will, and obeying what He has asked of you, EVERYTHING FALLS INTO PLACE.
IT is the most wonderful thing.

Just wanted to update those of you who haven't heard, or wanted to know more detail. We are happy, healthy and THRIVING. We are growing with a new position at a church, building community and learning everyday.
Please continue to pray for our transition down here, and for our hearts to be on His Kingdom. To live and love like Jesus in ALL that we do.

xoxo

Be the change.

This blog post is simple. It is about my passion for helping others become the best they can be. 

It is about sharing my passion for  < LOVE >, and what it means.
It is about sharing the heart behind the passion.

I lived a life that is not worthy of being called a daughter of a King.
I did things that even hurt my heart to think about.
I did things that hurt people, hurt myself and definitely hurt the heart of Jesus.
Now because of how much Jesus has showed his love for me through it all, I want to help others with every ounce inside of me.

After loosing someone close to me,  my father in 2013.
I have realized how short life really is and how impactful simple love can be.
I felt loved, taken care of, adored and cherished by my Father in Heaven when my earthly father passed away. I know that doesn't make sense to the human mind, it barely made sense to me. But the love that I felt in all aspects of my life overpowered any human instinct I felt to turn it away.
I believe with my whole heart in Jesus. My life is a product of Jesus and his love, and its not because of anything that I did...it is because of my faith to believe and hand my life over to him. His love changed my life, and I want to shout it to the world so that other people can have the same.

My yearning heart to help others feels like sometimes it is going to burst open with love.
I can't explain it, but I know it is a gift.
I know my compassionate, giving heart is from Jesus. It is from Jesus because he did it for me, he saved me....and because of that I will help others realize the importance of their life. The importance of Jesus and the importance of how life can be lived abundantly when you release control to someone who oozes with love.

One of my favorite ways of helping others is by calling them beautiful.

Psalm 139: 13-17 ESV

"For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mothers womb,
I praise you for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
Wonderful are your works;
my soul knows it very well.
My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intrically woven in the depths of the earth.
Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written every one of them, the days that were formed for me.
How precious to me are your thoughts O God! How vast the sum of them!"

This is how He feels about each one of us. Read it out loud to yourself, and think that the King of Kings, The Lord over all....is speaking that to you.
So why can't we speak life over other people around us?

Beautiful is defined by who God calls you. God calls us His children. 
That is our identity. 

I am passionate about is beautiful skin.
Some of you have recently seen that I have become a Rodan and Fields consultant.
I truly believe that everyone longs to have beautiful skin, but not everyone is born with it. Skin is genetic, and is something that we must take care of.
It is the thing that people look at often because when you interact with people, you should be looking at their face when talking.
Yes others look also at appearance, and clothing because that is the creative part of who people can be.
But skin is the thing that everyone looks at.
That is a fact, and when you don't feel good about your skin...than you can lack confidence in yourself.

I became a consultant because that used to be me. I lacked confidence in myself when I did not feel good about my skin. I had adult acne as a young adult. I was embarrassed. I was also dating the man that I was going to marry.
Why did I start getting acne than?
It could of been a number of reasons, but one thing I knew is that I wanted to get rid of it. I wanted it to go away more than anything.
I spent BUCKO bucks on different products and nothing worked.
I have a dear friend, who told me about the products of Rodan and Fields and I fell in love.
It worked, I felt beautiful again on the outside.
I know beauty comes from the inside, but to be honest... I wanted to feel beautiful on the outside also.
I wanted to clear my face up and not wear makeup! I wanted to be the confident woman of God that he created me to be, and acne was in the way.
I have been using their products for over a year and will never go back.

I have a few clients who have started using it in the past few months,
one of them being my best friend and sister, Megan Clarke (on the left of the picture below).

Here is what she shared with me, I asked her to be honest and share in her own words......

"Before Rodan and Fields I had tried numerous different face cleansers and brands. The last one I was using was Neutrogena Naturals purifying cream cleanser. I felt that I had tried so many different ones and didn't see a difference, honestly I saw a commercial for this one and thought why not give that a try, maybe my skin needs something more basic and natural. But I didn't see a change or difference at all.

 I started using Rodan and Fields Unblemish regimen with the spot fading toner about 4 months ago. Honestly I still get occasional acne and breakouts, but I've noticed a big difference in the tone and evenness of my skin.

 I've also been seeing a huge decrease in the size of my breakouts and the duration of how long they last. This product has also helped control my oily skin. Overall, YES I would recommend this product, it has made the biggest improvement on my skin compared to others I've tried and given me more confidence to go out in public without makeup on! " 

Thank you Meg, for being honest and sharing how Rodan and Fields has changed your skin this far into the journey. 

I am so excited to see where her skin will be in 6 months to a year.

She is on her way to wearing NO MAKEUP and having no breakouts. 

I am so proud of her for trying this new product, and sharing how it has already changed her confidence in herself.

I love this girl with my whole heart,  and honestly she does not need makeup to be beautiful. She is stunning.

But this is from the true heart of a woman who used to struggle with acne. 

------> if you would like to learn about how to be the change, and feel confidant about who you are. 

Read the bible.

Speak truth over the lies of the enemy DAILY.

and try Rodan and Fields. 

xoxo 

My website is Swimberly@myrandf.com

The best thing is, after 60 days if you are not satisfied with your product,  you can send back the empty bottles for a full refund. 

Rodan and Fields has a less than 2% refund rate...give it a try. 

Be you, be beautiful, and feel beautiful. 

and lets share with others how beautiful they are, because God created them that way.  

What size is faith?

Faith the size of a mustard seed..... (Matthew 17:20)
This scripture is something I have heard my whole life. I knew in my heart what it meant, and that it meant to believe God that He will do what He says He will do. That by believing, I have strong faith.
I knew it meant that my God will take care of me.
I knew that it meant my God will bless me because I am His child, and I am obedient to what He asks of me.


But now as I am an adult at 27 years old and clinging to life with my husband,
This scripture has a new meaning to me. We are truly walking out what "faith" means to us.

We moved to California to go to Life Pacific Bible college for 4 years, and to start working towards our dream of planting a church, and being fully invested in ministry.  All because of the simple truth that we both adore people with our whole hearts, and long to help people in whatever way we can.

But that is all we know. School was the reason we decided to move from Washington to California.
Pack up our stuff and drive down to California.
What we didn't know was:
We did not have a home to live, I did not have a job, and we did not know what church we would be apart of.
Let me tell you, its been about two weeks and we still do not have any of those answers.
Although my child like faith believes and knows it will happen in His timing.
My flesh struggles.
I long for a place to call home.
I long for a community in a church home.
I long for deep relationship with friends and mentors.
I long for a job that will provide for my husband and I because he is devoting himself to school during this season of our life.
But the more I write these things out...all I see is "I want, I want." What does Jesus want for me? for us?

I have been gently reminded that my life is not about me.
It is about loving God, loving my husband and loving people.
It is about enjoying each moment that I am given, whether it fits into my comfort zone or not.
I was so comfortable at home in Washington; strong faith, cozy coffee shops,family around, a thriving marriage, strong church that I knew was more family, my job working with kids, and with my life....feeling perfect and abundant because of God.  He was faithful.
But now that we left our comfort zone, and said "Let's GO, because God told us to GO!"
life has a whole new spin to it when we actually left.
Someone once told me that faith was spelled R....I....S.....K......
now I know what he meant by that.

> we are stretched
> we are uncomfortable
> I feel lonely, which I have not felt in years
> I feel fearful because of the unknown
> I felt unworthy again
> I feel sad because although my husband is going to school, I want to go too. I want to learn and grow in biblical studies....but right now it is about my husband.
> I feel like my head is spinning with job opportunities and I don't know what to choose.
> I feel uncertain.
....but underneath it all. I have really learned about the simple pursuit of Jesus, and about becoming an audacious servant.

"Delight yourself in The Lord, and He will give you the secret petitions of your heart. Commit your way to Him, Trust in Him, and He will help you."Psalm 37:4-5

My life verse. Which now has a whole new meaning to me than it did before.

In the times that I do not feel like my outgoing joyful self, and that the enemy is winning over my mind. I am reminded of how simple Jesus is and His love for me.
I whisper "Jesus" in the times that I don't know how to pray.
I blast worship music in the car and pray as loud as I can and it calms me.
My current situation is not overwhelming anymore when I delight in Him.
I cry, because I have learned to feel each moment that we go through and really embrace that it can be scary to not have all the answers. But remembering that He does.
I trust Jesus. I trust in His timing. I trust that He has a plan, and His plan is to give us a life full of joy, hope and an abundant future.
I trust that we are in His will right now.
I trust that the best is yet to come because of our obedience.
I trust, and believe and speak life over our current situation because I know that my God is bigger.
I trust that God will work out everything for our good.
I trust that my God, my Father in Heaven, is taking care of us.
I trust.
I trust,
I trust. Which means I believe. I believe and have faith that everything is okay.

I know during this time He is reminding me that all He longs for is a simple pursuit. He longs for us to call on Him, to need Him, to long for precious moments with Him.
Well Lord, that is all I long to do. I don't have any answers, but I choose to pursue you, pursue my husband and pursue people. Thank you Lord for what you are doing, and what you continue to do in my husband and I.
Above all, thank you that I have my husband to walk out life with. He is such a gift to me, in ways that are intimate to my heart that only He knew about.

To be your audacious servant who is full of faith.

Be You, Be Unique, Be Beautiful...because why not?

The Lord has put so many great and glorious things on my heart that I must share and write it out. I want to share about His goodness. I want my life to lift up His name everyday. That the name of Jesus would be exalted through me because He deserves all the praise. So I choose to write, and I choose to share; not out of boastfulness, but out of pure genuine joy.

Something I have been contemplating at the beginning of this year 2015, is... why not? Why not do the things you love to do? Why not step out in faith for what you believe in? Why not be silly? Why not laugh out loud? Why not fall in love with the person you choose to do life with? Why not trust The Lord with all your heart? Why not make mistakes and learn from them? Why not live life? Why not have a beautiful blessed life? Why not go on an adventure? Why not be generous? Why not love your neighbor? Why not pray out loud? Why not praise His name? Why not turn your mess into a message? Why not bless other people? Why not try something new?
# Why Not 

We only have one life on earth. It is a gift from our heavenly Father because He loves us. He loves us so much that we can not even fathom it, because that is what His word says. So lets make it count, lets be DOERS of the word, lets live a life full of adventure and full of JOY because we can. He gave us the opportunity and CHOICE to live like that.
# Be Intentional

My life is from The Lord. He saved my soul. He knocked on my door, and was intentional about loving me even when I would not see it because of my own stubbornness. So everything I do, I pray that it will exemplify my love for The Lord. I pray everyday, I seek The Lord everyday, I read my bible everyday...I do all of these things not because I have to, not because it looks good to other people, but because my soul craves it. My soul will not function with full capacity unless I allow The Lord in each day. I need Him to renew my mind everyday. I need Him to show me love everyday. I need Him to captivate my soul and fill me up so that I can go out and do the things that He has put on my heart to do.
# Boldness

I want to do things with all of my heart, I want to go places with all of my heart. The Lord gives us desires of our hearts for a reason, to pursue them. Why not pursue the desires He has given you? You know that if The Lord called you to do what is on your heart, it is because He has equipped you to do them. He has fully given you the choice to fulfill these things if you want to.
I pray that I WANT TO! I pray that I live a life full of adventure and love, and all with my main man God. I follow His peace in my life because it is the greatest decision I have ever done, and the one that works out the best for my life.
I know I have told some of my story before, and if you have read my blog the last couple of years it goes into detail about what happened to my family, and to me. But truly I tell you, I am who I am because of The Lord. He changed me from the inside out because I wanted it, I allowed Him into the depths of my heart and gave Him my life in TRUST. I chose to truth the Lord, and walk in trust not fear.
Fear will only hold you back from greatness. I chose to walk in greatness. To live an abundant life with Jesus because He holds me.
# Life is an Adventure
# Life is Beautiful

With that being said,
2015 is going to be a great adventure with the lover of my soul; God, and my husband, my forever love; Matthew Allen Wimberly. I am starting out the beginning of the year with my best friend, Matthew. I say best friend because he truly is my best friend, and not just words thrown around to make it sound nice.  His name means Gift from God, and let me tell you, He is a gift to me that I promise to always treasure and protect. He is my main person, the lover of my heart and body forever. The Lord gave him to me, and for that I am eternally grateful. We recently chose to spend some intentional time with The Lord this year and figure out what we want to do as a couple. What is our mission in life? How are we going to continue to live our life on a mission? We decided that our mission is to live a life like Jesus, the best we can, and to love like Jesus as best we can. We want to LIVE LIKE JESUS AND LOVE LKE JESUS. We want our life to reflect the love of Jesus in all that we do. We want to pursue our God everyday, to renew our mind and strength, to captivate us, to keep us from worldly sin, to protect our marriage and love like crazy. We chose to spend time together praying and searching out our hearts for this year. We decided our mission this year is to
# Live to Love

I am a blessed woman because of this. I have a faithful God, and a man of God who is my husband, who seeks to be the best he can be in everything he does. I feel richly blessed everyday because of this and because of how The Lord continues to show me His love through people, scripture, music and speaking to me when my heart is still. 

Mark 12: 30-31

You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. The second is this, love your neighbor as yourself. There is no other commandment greater than these.

Lord I pray for this to always be on our hearts as a family, and as individuals. Let this be our mission to be more like you everyday.

Another thing that is so deeply on my heart right now, is a mission trip that is TODAY! Oh my goodness when I say that out loud, and walk around my house praying about the trip, I get goose bumps because I know this is good. The Lord is so good, and I cant wait to see what He is going to do in and through this team as we go. Please be praying for safe travels for the team, and also health and safety while we are there. It can always stir up some fears in us when we go out of our comfort zone, but that is also where The Lord can and will teach us big things! A good place to conquer fears as well. I never want to stay in a stagnant place of fear, I always want to be growing in The Lord and becoming the best I can be.
Cambodia touches my heart because of the selfless love I feel there and how God always, without a doubt, helps me grow. He helps to show me how I can be a better me, and how I can let go of all fears. That is what I want to take back home. Fearless and more bold in my faith and what the Lord tells me!
See you soon Olympia. See you in two weeks.
I love you Matthew Allen with my whole heart, for my whole life.
I love you family, ill be praying for you every day.
I love my beautiful blessed life, and the opportunity My Lord has given me to go again. I will forever be grateful and I know the Lord has BIG PLANS!

xoxo

Lord I pray for your hand to be all over this trip. I pray for your spirit to be so evident and dwelling in each one of us, in our conversations, in the way we love each other and in the way we love Cambodia. I thank you for this opportunity, and this day. I pray that your kingdom come, your will be done. Lord you are in control, you hold our world in your hands so Lord I pray that you guide us, protect us and comfort us as we journey over the ocean. Lord I pray that you give us peace, your peace that surpasses all understanding. Your plan and your ways are higher than our ways, your thoughts are higher than our thoughts. You have already planned out this trip for us, so Lord I pray that you give us a confident hope in that. I pray Lord that you allow me, and the team to let down any insecurities, and let us be venerable while we are there. Allow us to grow individually and as a team. Allow us to be ourselves, that there is no one like us, and to use our uniqueness while we are there. Lord I love you with everything. Protect my home while I am gone, protect my husband and my marriage, protect my family in all ways. Lord I give my life to you. I thank you for all you have given me, and now I am going to go because you said to go. I thank you for obedience. I thank you for your spirit dwelling inside of me. I thank you for my supportive husband and best friend. I pray Lord that this team is a MIGHTY FORTRESS that can not be defeated. We are going to love on your children, and be LOVE to these orphans and homes. I thank you for that. Lord break my heart for what breaks yours, give me a tender loving heart while I am there to do what you called me to do.
I love you Lord.

#LivetoLove
#Cambodia2015
#Boldness

Today is THE DAY.

As I sit and listen to the song Hosanna by Hillsong United...."break my heart for what breaks yours, everything I am for your Kingdoms cause. Open up my eyes to the things unseen, show me how to love like you." THIS IS MY PRAYER as I walk out of my comfort zone, into Cambodia. Across the world. I trust God more than anything, because He is my one true love. He is the one who put this desire in my heart, so for that, I praise Him. I trust Him to keep myself and my team safe.

That is what I have been praying and talking to God about all morning. I leave in about an hour to meet my team for worship and prayer before we head off, and my heart is racing. I am going to triumph fear with the power of God, and remember that He is sending me to Cambodia. I have the heart and the deep desires to go, and I know how much I will fall in love with what I see and the children around me. But I also know little parts of fear that I have about going somewhere unknown to me, I am stepping out in faith and courage to do something I was called to do. Sometimes I wonder why; why would God pick me? What gifts do I have to be apart of this team to go to Cambodia? But than God speaks to me, and tells me that He is with me wherever I go. He will strengthen me. He will lift me up when I feel weak. He will help me triumph the devil if I just be still and allow God to speak to me. Sometimes my mind can race so fast, and than I realize how much time I just wasted...when God was right here, waiting for me to come to Him with my worries and fears. He is my sustainer. My rock. My peace. My love. My father. He wants nothing more than to bless me.
So that takes away my fear. Why be fearful of a place that God TOLD ME TO GO?? That my friends, makes no sense to me. Why would I allow the devil to take something so precious to me, something I have been looking forward to for a very long time. Something I KNOW my earthly father would of been so proud of me. It is not going to happen. I am going to do this with the JOY that The Lord has given me to go, and I am going to pray my heart out on the plane, and worship Him, and watch what He does to my heart. I know my heart will be changed forever.

Romans 12:21
Do not be overcome with evil, instead overcome evil with good.

THIS WAS IN MY DEVOTION THIS MORNING. Thank you Lord. Overcome evil thoughts with what God has filled my heart with already! What an answer to prayer.

There is something about going somewhere far away on mission trips that just warms my heart. To step out of my comfort zone, and everything familiar to me, and to do God's work. To love on people who are just waiting for love, God's love. They are going to show me love in a whole new light, and I already am expecting that. These children are going to show me God's love, and I hope to bring them some comfort and love as well.


My Prayer.
"Dear my Lord, the one who comforts me, brings me peace and joy, blesses me when I feel unworthy, and loves me at my worst. You know my heart, you know the inner most parts of me and who I am. I trust you Lord with my whole heart, I trust you that where you lead me, I WILL follow and be blessed because of it. So many verses come to mind about taking the step of faith, and following after you. Lord I trust that. I believe that with my heart as I venture somewhere I have never been before, but you have. You know where I am going, you know my purpose for going, and Lord I know you have a plan. I pray Lord that you touch each and every life that is going to be on this trip, whether it is someone on my team, or someone we come in contact with. Lord I pray that each and every person that we do come in contact with, can see our JOY because of YOU. You are in us, and with us, and through us all the time Lord. We are going to do your kingdom work, everyday I pray that I do something for your kingdom, so Lord on this trip, I pray you show me what I can do. Show me how to love like you, break my heart for what breaks yours. Everything I AM for your kingdom cause. That is why I am here Lord, to love others and love you. I pray Lord that you radically move in myself, as well as each member who is going on this trip. Bring us close together, help us to trust and grow together as a TEAM. I know you will bless us unimaginably, because that is who you are. But Lord I pray for safety, healthy and protection as we venture off to Cambodia. I pray that our luggage is not lost. I pray that we will be well rested and ready Sunday morning when we wake up in Cambodia! I pray Lord that your hand is all over this trip, and that the Holy Spirit will move in us like we have never seen before. I love you Lord, I love you and trust you with my life because you gave me this life. This life on earth is so short compared to our time with you, and I believe that with my heart. I thank you Lord for everything you have done for me, I thank you financially that I am able to go on this trip, I pray that you watch over my family while I am gone. I pray for the hearts of my family back home, and other families, that they will be at peace while we are gone. I thank you Lord for this opportunity, for putting this desire in my heart, for allowing me to love kids with all I am so that I can be a piece of your hands and feet while I am there. I pray Lord for radical change. I pray that you will show me things that I have never seen before, stretch me and help me grow to be more like you. I pray for our flight this morning, that we will all arrive safely in Cambodia with the rest of our team. I pray that the flight will fly by, and that no one will get sick or injured on the flight Lord. I continue to pray that you show us what needs to be done in Cambodia in the hearts of others, as well as physically. Give us the strength, your strength, each and everyday to do the work that needs to be done. I THANK YOU Lord for who you are, and for loving me. Thank you for saving me, and for showing me the importance of this world. Thank you for trials I have been through because they shaped me into the woman I am today. I pray you continue to mold me, shape me and show me who I am in you. I pray for our trip, just continued safety and protection. Thank you Lord. "  


Proverbs 16:9
We can make our plans, but the Lord determines our steps.



 
Thank you to everyone who has been sending out prayers, financial help, hugs, and LOVE! I appreciate you more than I could ever say. Please continue to pray for us as we go this morning, pray that God moves more than we could ever imagine. Pray for safety, health and protection for each one of us. THANK YOU for taking time this morning and reading my blog. Just a little something before we take off. Remember to love God with your whole heart, and love your neighbor as yourself. These are simple things that the Lord tells us to do, and because of that, and because of trusting the Lord, HE WILL BLESS YOU. Just watch :) LOVE YOU ALL, I will miss you dearly, but just know I am in good hands, and walking where I am told to go. God seldom moves in our comfort zones, so I pray for a RADIAL MOVEMENT!

xoxo
Sarah Marie

Psalm 37:4
Take delight in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart. 

1 Corinthians 16:14
Do EVERYTHING in love.

 

Do all things with love.

1 Corinthians 16:14 Let all that you do, be done in love. 

Love is word that can describe a feeling, can define my God, and is used with such care because of the value of the word. I believe it is my anthem word for the year 2014; to do all things with love. To constantly be thinking of others, and doing things for the Kingdom of Heaven. "There are far better things ahead than what we leave behind." C.S. Lewis.

This truly became my anthem after watching things happen with my dad, and the way my family was changed because of it. There truly are far better things ahead than what we leave here on earth, and I believe that with my whole heart. That is why I choose to do all things with love. Choose to be slow to anger, slow to speak, quick to forgive and quick to listen. Choose to love my Lord with my whole heart, because everything good is from Him, and there are some great things going on in my life right now. If I did not surrender my life to Him, I truly believe I would not have them. My world has been changed all because of the one who created me, and I fell in love with His glory and grace. God's grace for my life is unfailing.

The world is absolutely beautiful, but is corrupted by horrible things people do, objects, nasty words and lies. So I choose to do everything with love because our world desperately needs it. Be the light and shine light on those around me...... or that is what I strive to do! That is the type of person I hope to become. A lot like Jesus <3

My heart is to ultimately love people, and live with my eyes on Heaven; because if I have the faith like I say I do, that is all that matters. Love God, Love People. My faith is to believe; believe in God, the Creator who has created each and every one of us specifically and with a purpose. We are all so uniquely different, and have talents and gifts for a purpose. I believe that is not by accident. When I look around the world, and at how beautiful it can be, how can I not believe in God? He created the beauty for us to see, and to be taken in by his glory and beauty. But look how that is corrupted already, and how people can easily take that for granted.

I have learned so much this last year- and one thing is to live a simple life; to love and be loved, to pray each and every day, to trust The Lord over everything else my mind may tell me, to walk in trust and not fear, selfless love, and choose joy.

My life has been wrecked in 2013- but wrecked in a way that is unlike any other. I began to trust the Lord and fall in love with my heavenly Father. The feeling is something I can not describe, but if you have a relationship with Him, than you know exactly what I mean. This last year I learned to lean on, trust, and love my Lord with my whole heart. I fell in love with trusting Him.

Although this last year has been one of the hardest, most challenging years, it has also been FULL of blessings. My family is blessed because God is truly taking care of us, despite the tragedy we faced. We still find hope and joy in life!

Let me name a FEW:

MY BROTHER AND SISTER IN LAW ARE HAVING A BABY!!!! I am going to be an Aunt :) I already love this little nugget in her belly, and I can only imagine the miracle this baby will bring to our family. I can not wait to watch my brother become a father.
MY SISTER IS ENGAGED TO MATT CLARKE! Such a blessing he has been to our family already, by walking with us through my dads sickness, and lovingly taking care of my sister. I could not be more excited and blessed that he is going to be apart of our family forever <3 I will have another brother. Whoop whoop!
MY SISTER GRADUATED COLLEGE! Such an accomplishment, I am so proud of the hard work she has done and continues to do. She has such a big heart for helping others, and it goes to show when she talks about nursing and the joy it brings her. Dad is so proud of you sissy poo.
I AM GOING TO CAMBODIA! I made the decision last year, and not it is in about a month. My heart is for children, and mission work. I can not wait to see what the Lord is going to do in my life, and in the lives around me.
I AM DATING A MAN....named Matthew Allen Wimberly. Who is already such a gift to me in more ways than I can say. God truly blessed me when he gave me this man, and I am so expectant for our future!
MY MOM IS GOING TO BE A GRANDMA! And she will be the most genuine, loving, caring grandma because her heart is to love, and to show love in more ways than she even knows. She will be an amazing grandma and I can not wait to watch her!
MY MOM GOT A NEW CAR! That alone is a blessing, and such a gift! If you know the story about that, than you know why. But God has been walking us through tough life changes, that being one of them, and my mom has a new car that is absolutely lovely! And was in God's perfect timing.
SO MANY WONDERFUL FRIENDS, and new people in my life that I am so thankful for. Thanks for WHO YOU ARE!
MY FAMILY- all together is just a joy. I love everyone in my family, and all of the new things going on in everyone's life. So fun to watch everyone go through life, and life changes!

Those are just a FEW of the blessings we have....and the list goes on and on. God has blessed us and continues to bless us the more we trust Him. It is as simple as that. That is why I strive to live a simple life, be thankful in all ways and LOVE.

Just a few of life's blessings. 

I just wanted to write, there is really no purpose for this post except to write and to show thankfulness for all I have, and all that is going to happen in 2014. I am so expectant for my Lord to show up in miraculous ways, and I do not expect anything different. 

Blessed is she who believed there would be fulfillment of what has been spoken to her by the lord. Luke 1:45 

God is within her, she will not fail. Psalm 46:5 

CAMBODIA IN ONE MONTH! Expectant for that trip, and beyond excited. I already LOVE all the people who are going on the trip as a team. God put together this team and I can barely fathom what is going to happen those two weeks. I can not wait to see Him show up and touch lives. I can not wait to form relationships with people on the team as well as the people in Cambodia. I can not wait to laugh, play, hug, and love the children of Cambodia. I know they will change my life, and my perspective of what love is in a whole new way. God is sending me on this trip, thanks to lots of prayers, finances, and His love for me. I can not say it enough....that I am following Him and EXPECTANT FOR WHAT IS TO COME IN 2014!!! 

#Expectant #Excited #Joy