Yes, to creating moments.

Yes....I said it.

I said yes to an adventure at the beginning of 2019. Then I remembered how ironic, that my word for the year 2019 is CREATE.
To create the unexpected moments. To create and unfold things inside of me that I don't even know are there unless I analyze more of how He created me. To create memories, and intimacy with My Father in heaven. To create a new chapter of my story, a story that isn't written just by me but is directed by The Lord.
So when I got asked a few BOLD things at the beginning of January, ALREADY, I knew this year was going to be a treat for my soul.
Unexpected moments that my soul has been longing for, once I put my big girl boots on.

I realize some people reading this may say "well yeah, but thats YOUR life," or "yeah cool, good for YOU," or "awesome, can't wait to hear about it but still waiting for The Lord to move in MY life."

I realize these are all real feelings, yet if you feel that way, please don't continue to read my blog. You have control over your emotions and where your mind takes you. I believe when The Lord does something in someone's life, it's not just for their own self, but for the purpose of so many others.

{ We are made to do life in community, with people. }

That is why I share. To spread the good news of what God is doing, in hopes that you give glory to Him and receive something from this for your own life to hold tight to.

If comparison is a road you catch yourself turning to, please don't read on because my heart isn't to allow others to stumble. So I warn you right now.... this is a GOOD story, about the GOODNESS OF GOD.
I have had my fair share of crappy things happen, and those are written in other blogs from my past.

I pray for you, whoever you are, that your heart is right while reading and that you can receive what I say with open arms and a heart to love/champion me WHERE I AM. This is MY STORY the Lord is writing, and I'm asking you to be apart of it, if you want.

Not to compare, ctitize or now look at your life and regret something.
Everyone is on a different journey, and this just happens to be mine.

Some of my journey I wish I could erase. Take away. Never remember the moments again. But if I did that, I wouldn't be who I am. I wouldn't have the stories of how God so beautifully is STILL writing my story.


So any-who, back to what the purpose of this blog is. To share my story. A story that was unexpected and has created in me a heart to sing, to sing a new song and to expect the wild, wonder and passion.

Ephesians 3: 20-21

" Never doubt God's mighty power to work in you and accomplish all this. He will achieve infinity more than your greatest request, your most unbelievable dream, and exceed your wildest imagination! He will outdo them all, for his miraculous power constantly energizes you. 

Now we offer up to God all the glorious praise that rises from every church in ever generation through Jesus Christ- and all that will yet be manifest through time and eternity. AMEN! "

I got a text coming home from a road trip around Christmas time. The text read something like this.....".....want to go to Cambodia in a couple weeks?"
Okay there were WAY more words than this, but this was the part of the text that stood out to me, and shocked me.
My first reaction was, absolutely not. I have responsibilities to do here in San Diego, a life I am living. I cant just pick up and go out of the blue.....or can I?
Especially after taking a week off for Christmas.

With lots of encouragement from my husband (cause if you know him, that is just who he is. A champion of people, especially me), and aligning all my ducks in a row before I said yes, I SAID YES. WHY NOT.
Cambodia has a huge part of my heart, what do I have to loose? I have so much to gain and this is a year of stepping out, with wisdom and humility, and saying YES to creating the adventure with my Father in Heaven.
So I said yes.

Instantly I wondered why.
I wondered what was it that The Lord was going to do in and through me on this trip. I was expectant and ready because from my past history with God, nothing is coincidence.

If you don't know .....I love meeting new people, stepping out of my comfort zone and just being myself despite everything that would tell me to be fearful. I like to kick fear in the butt. So I knew I wouldn't have trouble meeting the team and getting to know them, and I KNEW God had a plan for organizing the team the way He did. That is just SO HIM, to hand pick everyone who is going for a specific reason.
So here I am. Bags packed. Heart Full. Notebook empty. Ready to receive and give all I have for two weeks while we venture to Cambodia.

FAST FORWARD 3-4 days after we arrive in Cambodia.
Cause lets be honest, I could probably write a whole book about my adventures in Cambodia and ALL THE THINGS. Just ALL THE THINGS that He does in my heart, shows me, and convicts me about.
But this specific moment is why I feel like I was meant to go, FOR ME. A moment that before the trip, He told my heart, "Yes go, go be adventurous and silly, but most of all....I want you to SOAK UP ALL THE MOMENTS."
So the moment was here.
This is one of the MAIN MOMENTS I will always carry in my heart from Cambodia 2019.
THIS GIRL.

Her name is "Maneat"

"Mon-ey" is how you pronounce it in English. I think. Words are tricky in Cambodia because we don't speak their language. But as we know, LOVE transcends words. 

She gave me moments, that I will cherish forever.

Moments that I did not think I would have right now, because I have no kids that are here on earth. They are all in heaven.

But this sweet girl, allowed me to have a moment with her of healing my heart.

A moment I would of missed if I hurried about my day.

A moment I believe the Lord carved out for me, because He knows exactly what I need. 

I picked her up one morning, and as I was speaking words of affirmation over this beautiful girl in her ear, tears began to stream down my face, tears of mourning.

Right then, I realized The Lord saw my broken heart and gave me a moment to heal a place I moved away from. Gave me a moment that said "I see you Sarah Marie, this promise will come for your life one day to hold your child. Continue to walk with me. I see you."

"The Lord is close to the broken hearted, and saves those who are crushed in spirit." Proverbs 34:18

Yes. I believe this to the core of me. 

I also believe we have a choice to choose if we see God in the midst of our pain. Right now, I choose to see His love and His light in my life. 

I choose to look for the moments that take my breath away, and draw me closer to His heart.

I KNOW, that I won't ever understand all the pain in the world. 

But I do know, who God is. I know because I read about Him all the time in the Bible. 

My prayer is that I am never easily swayed about God by someone's opinion or a smart person who feels like they know it all. I want to be a woman who falls on her knees in awe of my Father, despite the pain in my heart, knowing He is always next to me. Just like my earthly father would of done if he was still here to comfort me. 

May you be encouraged, that The Lord is close to you.

"Draw near to Him, and He will draw near to you." James 4:8

I challenge you to never stop reading the word of God, it is the truth that we need to stand on in a world that is broken. May you find hope. 

xoxo

Sarah Marie